Top 5 New Years Resolutions I’m probably going to break this year

And, I’m back… been a bit since I’ve written any new posts. Or any new material period for that matter. For those of you who missed my last post (cough*everyone*cough), you can get caught up on my NaNoWriMo progress, or sadly, the lack thereof, here. However, I learned a pretty important lesson with that post — that the timing of one’s blog posts is a MAJOR factor. Posting  pretty much any time imaginable > posting on a holiday night (i.e. Thanksgiving). Apparently, after all the turkey and in-laws, no one wants to spend time reading on the interwebs.

For those of you who are as A.D.D. as myself, or hate clicking links, here are the highlights of said post… I got a new job, which is both considerably more challenging than my former position, and also much farther away, resulting in nearly double my time on the road each day. So needless to say, between the two, I’ve been pretty mentally drained getting home every evening. Now that my training has tapered off, and I’ve grown used to the daily grind, and the holidays are over and done with (thank God!) I can finally sit down and breath at the end of the day, and not pass out at nine o’clock every night.

Now to play catch up… Christmas was good, the little ones filled our living room with shredded wrapping paper, and all things pink that are associated with Barbie. Seriously, the living room looked like the inside of a Pepto-Bismol bottle.

Seriously, my house looked like this.

Seriously, my house looked like this.

Thankfully though, due to a nearly forgotten order for a Hot Wheels Speedology classroom kit (which we got completely free, by the way, since the kiddos are homeschooled), we were able to break up the pink a little. Our oldest was absolutely stoked about this (which could’ve saved us a lot of money if we’d only known…). For some reason, she’s been fascinated with Team Hot Wheels Build the Epic Race on Netflix. And ever since Christmas, bright orange tracks have connected every corner of our house. What started with a simple drop from the mantle over our fireplace, and ran along the floor has evolved into a multi-room experiment to see A) how fast they can get the cars to go, and B) how many tricks they can perform before crashing violently into something they’re not supposed to. They’ve got jumps, loop-de-loops, free falls, high-speed banks… it’s pretty damn impressive to be honest. And being a car guy, I’m a proud papa to say the least.

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Wanted: A Date for Star Wars Episode 7

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So it’s official… I have been shunned by my family for being the nerd that I am. Insert long, lonely sigh here.

In a little less than two months, Star Wars Episode VIII – The Force Awakens will premiere in movie theaters around the globe. And in all likelihood, I will be surround by a packed crowd all by my lonesome.

My wife, as amazing as she is, is honestly too cool for me. I don’t know how I lucked out, but damn. Sometimes it helps. She knows what’s “in”, and despite my best efforts, keeps me from leaving the house looking like a kindergartner who dressed himself.

However, there are other times, as is this case, where that’s a bad thing. Sorry babe. Any time I’ve mentioned going to this movie, I get the “What about so and so….?” I get it, you don’t want to go. But did I want to go watch the soft-core porn known as 50 Shades of Grey? Well, sort of. But not at all for the story (I mean come on, have you actually read that book from a literary point of view?) Did I begrudgingly sit by your side on Valentines Day, hoping that all this gratuitous nudity and flogging would somehow turn you on, and work out in my favor later that night? Okay, yeah, you’re right, there was that.

But seriously, this is probably the one movie we could go to where you wouldn’t have to worry about me whipping out my lightsaber afterwards. I have a feeling that this is what it felt like to see the original movies in the theaters back in the day. If the anticipation and excitement that has built up over the last three years since Disney acquired the rights to Star Wars, and promised a new trilogy is any indication, my nerdgasm will be in full effect.

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But sadly, I can’t even place the blame solely on her. My awesome, super-nerdy 6 year old daughter has rejected me too. The same kid who has spent the last 3-4 years carefully playing with my own Star Wars action figure collection, and has seen the original trilogy, the bastardized prequel trilogy, the Clone Wars movie, and entire series, and was absolutely fascinated by the first season of Star Wars Rebels has declined my offer to take her along. I have failed as a nerdy father. I’m beginning to think she has been using me for my toys all along.

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