5 Reasons the Scariest Thing Ever Written Is a Kids’ Book | Cracked.com

This article speaks the truth! I remember looking at these books either on the playground or out in front of the school, waiting for the morning bell to ring. We’d always be huddled up together as if to hide what we were doing like we’d be banished from every school for the rest of our lives if we were caught reading these…

And the best part of all – we could check them out from the school library!

If you’ve never read these books, I highly recommend them!

I know you young people think you know horror, what with all the sea monsters and Australian people Cracked gives you the phobias about, but the liquid terror of the books herein fueled enough nightmares to run Elm Street out of business.

Source: 5 Reasons the Scariest Thing Ever Written Is a Kids’ Book | Cracked.com

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What You Realize About ‘Oregon Trail’ Playing It Today | Cracked.com

Sharing from Cracked.com, as this was one of my all-time favorites in the computer lab at my elementary school. Many hours and lives were lost trying to finish this game, but never in such an epic manner as this! Click on the link below for the full article.


Since nothing numbs the pain of rapidly aging out of pop culture relevancy in your 30s like trying to re-create a moment from your youth, I decided to take on the trail once more….

Source: What You Realize About ‘Oregon Trail’ Playing It Today | Cracked.com

I Swear in Front of My Kids and I Don’t Give a Damn

Re-blogging this post my wife sent me this morning, if for no other reason than this line here:

“Similarly, when I step on a LEGO while rushing to get my 1-year-old a bottle at 3 AM, I know the only way to feel better is a hearty F-bomb repeatedly shout-whispered into the darkness of night. Spoken morphine. No other word will suffice.”

The struggle is real folks!

I’m re-writing the swear-word rules in my house and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Source: I Swear in Front of My Kids and I Don’t Give a Damn

Daddy’s bout to lose his shit: Daddy Rage, pt. II

Late night last night, because apparently everyone but me wanted to stay up all night. Long day at work today, because I’m between projects until next Monday, so it’s been a little slow as of late. Forty minute drive home, (on a 90 degree day), which was pretty good considering the traffic. I’m even more tired than usual by the time I get home, and all I want to do is veg the fuck out.

Then I walk through the door and the madness ensues…

No I don’t want to hold you right now, Thing 2. Nor do I want you sitting in my lap right this moment, I’m still cooling off from being outside. That also means I don’t want you sitting beside me and laying &/or hanging on me, raising my body temperature.

No Momma Bear, I don’t really wanna talk about X, Y, and Z right now. And Thing 1, I don’t need to see whatever computer or tablet game it is you’re playing, because you’ve already shown me a hundred times. But don’t interrupt your mom, she’s telling me important shit I don’t care about right this second.

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The nine stages of writer’s block – with cats

Little bit of awesome to kick off your day… Suck it writer’s block!

Milly Schmidt

Some people say writer’s block doesn’t exist. That it’s just epic procrastination and laziness tied up in a pretty package. But it does exist. Oh. Hell. Yes. It. does. Sometimes it can last from a few hours to a few years (true story!) but the journey is still the same…

It all starts with one tiny seeminglyterrifyinghurdle

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Long Time, No See: Muse Wanted

*Insert long sigh here*

I promised myself this wouldn’t be a post about my lack of posts… Seems like forever since I’ve added any updates, and when I look at my WordPress dashboard, I realize it really has been. I apologize for neglecting my poor little blog. Who’s a good blog? You are, that’s right!

But, if it’s any condolence, a lot of writing has been taking place elsewhere. I’ve done a shit ton of documentation for work over the last few months, writing everything from training docs, to user guides, to test cases. And I’ve been extremely motivated to write lately, though the inspiration is still hit or miss (I’m currently taking applications for the position of muse, if anyone’s interested!).

I’ve added a few scenes and pages to some of my current works in progress, and come up with several new story ideas, including some children’s stories, with the aid of my two little ones at home. Though while I can sketch out random stuff okay, my artistry skills really aren’t up to snuff (so I’m also looking for someone that can draw or paint as well…). I’ve also added some of my older work (mostly snippets and unfinished short stories) to the site, which can be downloaded in PDF format, for those of you interested in checking that out. And feel free to share your feedback!

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Top 5 New Years Resolutions I’m probably going to break this year

And, I’m back… been a bit since I’ve written any new posts. Or any new material period for that matter. For those of you who missed my last post (cough*everyone*cough), you can get caught up on my NaNoWriMo progress, or sadly, the lack thereof, here. However, I learned a pretty important lesson with that post — that the timing of one’s blog posts is a MAJOR factor. Posting  pretty much any time imaginable > posting on a holiday night (i.e. Thanksgiving). Apparently, after all the turkey and in-laws, no one wants to spend time reading on the interwebs.

For those of you who are as A.D.D. as myself, or hate clicking links, here are the highlights of said post… I got a new job, which is both considerably more challenging than my former position, and also much farther away, resulting in nearly double my time on the road each day. So needless to say, between the two, I’ve been pretty mentally drained getting home every evening. Now that my training has tapered off, and I’ve grown used to the daily grind, and the holidays are over and done with (thank God!) I can finally sit down and breath at the end of the day, and not pass out at nine o’clock every night.

Now to play catch up… Christmas was good, the little ones filled our living room with shredded wrapping paper, and all things pink that are associated with Barbie. Seriously, the living room looked like the inside of a Pepto-Bismol bottle.

Seriously, my house looked like this.

Seriously, my house looked like this.

Thankfully though, due to a nearly forgotten order for a Hot Wheels Speedology classroom kit (which we got completely free, by the way, since the kiddos are homeschooled), we were able to break up the pink a little. Our oldest was absolutely stoked about this (which could’ve saved us a lot of money if we’d only known…). For some reason, she’s been fascinated with Team Hot Wheels Build the Epic Race on Netflix. And ever since Christmas, bright orange tracks have connected every corner of our house. What started with a simple drop from the mantle over our fireplace, and ran along the floor has evolved into a multi-room experiment to see A) how fast they can get the cars to go, and B) how many tricks they can perform before crashing violently into something they’re not supposed to. They’ve got jumps, loop-de-loops, free falls, high-speed banks… it’s pretty damn impressive to be honest. And being a car guy, I’m a proud papa to say the least.

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The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Daddy Rage

Probably gonna catch some heat from other parents over this, but those moms & dads that pretend they’ve never had the same thoughts are what we call “full of shit.”

With that out of the way, I do absolutely love my kids, and would do anything in the world for them. I have 2 adorable, very intelligent girls, ages 6 & 2. For the sake of this post, we’ll call them, Thing 1 and Thing 2.

t1&t2

And most days they’re fine; just your normal, every day kids doing normal, every day kid things. But then there are those days. And as a parent, you never know when it’s going to be one of those days, until it’s too late. They typically start out as any other day. The kiddos eat breakfast, they’re being sweet, playing together quietly, sharing, and listening to you.

Then around lunch time, something happens. It’s that part of the day where someone (other than yourself) needs a nap, and starts to get a little whiny, and decides they’re not going to eat lunch. Or wear pants. Or do anything without having a minor meltdown. And then in starts…

Phase One: The “Come On Guys”

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You try to be nice, almost passive-aggressive about it to begin with. “Thing 1, quit pulling on Sissy.” “Thing 2, quit jumping on the couch.” “Don’t play with that, Thing 1.” “Let your sister see that.” “Quit jumping from the ottoman to the couch, Thing 2.” “Quiet down, please.”

Then you repeat yourself. Like, every 5 minutes (or less). Sigh. The exasperation has already kicked in. You just want more than 90 consecutive seconds of peace. But no. That’s just ridiculous. You don’t need peace and quiet. You don’t need to complete a thought. Do lion tamers in the circus have time to think? No. Thinking is for pansies. If you stop to think, they’ll eat you alive… You got this, you tell yourself.

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The Man, the Myth, the… Guy with a Blog

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Born in 1984, in a small Atlanta suburb, and currently residing in Mobile, Alabama,  I began writing creatively in middle school, and completed my first short story my senior year of high school as a submission for a college scholarship contest.

The story that was penned for that contest, Carnal Fear, was a seventeen page draft that later became the opening chapters of my first novella, Dreams from a State of Suspended Sleep. Later that year, I completed a second novella, a mafioso tale entitled Family Business.

After a six year hiatus, and the birth of my first daughter in late 2009, I turned my attention back to writing, began working to refine my first two stories, and brainstorming on my next works: Dominion and Homecoming.

Now, as my attention, time, and inspiration allows, I work on multiple projects simultaneously, in hopes that one or more sees publication within the next year.

This blog is my attempt to alleviate the serious case of writer’s block that I’ve had over the last year, while sharing my work and thoughts.